July 2004
My husband Brian and I have been married about 3 1/2 years. For 2 1/2 we've been trying to have a baby. It's been the most difficult years of my life. When I got married I never would have dreamed that I would be faced with infertility. I just thought it would come easy for me just like the rest of my friends. Boy was I wrong. My husband and I have been through every test imaginable. A year ago we were told that our only hope for children was through IVF. In February of 2004 we did our first IVF and it failed. We were devistated. We were so positive that it was going to work. For the next 3 days I just couldn't function. I just kept thinking about everything we had just gone through. The daily shots, the numerous doctor visits and and the money we spent was all for nothing. I had lost all hope that we would ever be parents.
I started looking around for a support group in the area. I really needed other women to talk to that would understand what I was going through. I wasn't able to find one. I had felt God moving me to start a group since fall of 2003, but I just wasn't ready at the time. Over the next few months the Lord did a miracle in my heart. I knew all of the hurt and the pain wouldn't be for nothing. I had to use it to help other women. That is how this support group was started. My desire to be a mom has still not been fulfilled, but the one thing I do have now that I didn't have before is hope. Hope that one day he will bless me with children. I don't know when or how, but I remain focused on the one true thing that can bring me joy and peace and that is His mercy and love for me.
Update: Sept 2004
My husband and I found out in early July that we are expecting a baby in February 2005. The doctors said it couldn't happen for us without the use of drugs and medical intervention, but God had other plans. He is still the Great Physician.
Update: October 8, 2004
Today I gave birth to my daughter who died in my womb. I was 21 weeks pregnant with her when we learned she went to be with Jesus. We are in a state of shock. She was perfect and beautiful. The doctor said it was a freak thing to happen. She had the cord
wrapped around her neck twice. We got to hold Zoe Renae Lord and say goodbye to our firstborn. We know God is still in control and He
has never left our side. We look forward to our next miracle with great expectation.
Update: April 11, 2005
My husband and I found out on December 29, 2004 that we are expecting again. Our baby girl is due on August 29, 2005.
Update: September 25, 2005
Our daughter, Brooklyn Sophia was born on August 25, 2005 at 4:06p.m. weighing 7lbs, 9oz and 20 inches long. She is truly a miracle and a gift from God. I look into her eyes and can't believe she is mine. God truly does give you the desires of your heart.
Update: August 2006
We decided that we were ready to do a transfer with the 5 remaining embryo's we have from our failed IVF in 2004. We had prepaid and I was starting my Lupron shots the morning I took a home pregnancy test and found out I was already pregnant. I can't believe it. Once again we had our plans, but the Lord had a different plan. We are shocked, but so excited that Brooklyn will have a brother or sister.
Update: March 23, 2007
Praise be to God! Our daughter Sydney Kate was born at 8:24 am weighing 8lbs, 2oz and 19 1/2 inches long. Thank you Lord for our precious little miracle. We are truly blessed.
Update: March 1, 2008
We thawed our 5 remaining embryos (from our failed IVF in Feb 2004) and 2 survived the thaw. They were transfered and we waited the 10 days to see if it worked. It didn't. We are at peace with the Lord's plan and know that we did what we felt was right in giving our embryos a chance at life.
